🔗 Share this article This Floating Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year. As we consider the television offerings of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote. The 'Sex and the City' Sequel Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series started, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the final series. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob? The Kim Kardashian Drama ‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’ But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to start listing the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and materialism? The almost deliberate parade of tropes? Performances so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to. AKA Charlie Sheen Given the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist. The Iris Affair Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost. The Gangster Drama Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back. Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic. The Meghan Markle Series Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as intentional statements. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh. Victoria Beckham There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series. The Game Show It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it. Too Much How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt icky. Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping Not good enough to be ‘patchy’. Given the shrewd recruitment of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer. The Knox Dramatisation This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so. Prime Target We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense. 1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.